Two weeks ago, I was grateful enough to go to a fellow sister in Christ’s event – Susan Deborahs (follow her blog) called ‘Coffee & Prayer‘. This is the third Coffee & Prayer event I’ve been to and each time I’ve always taken away something from whatever she speaks about on the day, this one was no different.
This session in particular was called “Sisterhood: The Demise“. Susan opened up the event as usual with a small icebreaker, where the women who attended spoke about what words came to mind when we thought about disunity within sisterhood. Words such as jealousy, assumption, competition and comparison bounced around the room.
The room was then opened up with the questions of “As Christians, do we have to be friends with everyone?” And “How as Christians do we deal with conflict in the right way?“. The first question I’ll touch upon as the second question will be spoken about in another upcoming post about friendship. The answers given to the first question were mixed, with some women stating that we should build upon the sisterhood and be friends with other likeminded females in and out of the church, whilst others mumbled “No New Friends” by Drake under their breath (ok maybe the mumbling was just me haha). “I’ve got enough friends as it is, why would I want to go out of my way to make some more” is what I actually thought.
“We should connect with people on an individual level” – Susan Deborahs
I thought back to how I first met the girls in my close friendship circle – two of whom I’ve known since I was 12 and the others since 2008, Brunel times. We’ve come a long way since then; I couldn’t have picked a better set of females to know and go through life together. It couldn’t also have been a better time for our friendship to blossom too; we grew up before social media was a “thing” and comparison and competition between each other was minimal.
Today’s society is totally different – with both males and females. With the rise of reality shows such as Love and Hip Hop, Big Brother and Love Island just to name a few, as well as the strong influence of social media, we’ve become more accustomed to comparing and competing. Being “petty” is the new normal, seeing people on the surface level, judging them by their pictures they post on Instagram – no one wants to get to know one another properly and it’s a damn shame. Honestly, that is one of the reasons why I’m hesitant in making new friends as I tend to see – and judge (although it’s less than what it was back in the day) from the get-go. I also blame my shyness and observant nature, it plays a big part in it.
We know that the church is a part of the body of Christ. If we’re not forming friendships with one another, how are we supposed to strengthen the body of Christ? How do we as Christians try to break the norm of societal views that we shouldn’t be involved in, whilst also edifying Christ?
“People tend to gravitate to who they relate with” – Susan Deborahs
The above is too true. It does have good and bad connotations. As a sisterhood (and brotherhood), we have to learn to gravitate to the right kind of people (basically another version of ourselves) that will help build up the “hood” and then look to others with a “heart value” mindset instead of a face value mindset. 1 Samuel 16:7 (MSG) says:
7But God told Samuel, ‘Looks aren’t everything’. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart’.
So, if God can see past your sins and look at your heart and still love you, even when you still do wrong, you should also go about it in the right way and not see people for what they are, but who they are in order to continue building the “hood” and the body of Christ.
I definitely left Susan’s event with a new mindset on how I can help build the Sisterhood inside and outside of church – don’t be quick to judge the outside of a person, no matter how they may look. See their heart; connect with them on an individual level. You’ll leave a God ordained impact in them one way or another.
I can’t wait to attend the next one in August. Keep an eye out for Susan’s next Coffee & Prayer event via her Eventbrite page.
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